The Age of Commitments
When you stop chasing everything and start building something reall
At some point, the Age of Discovery ends.
The pull towards novelty gives way to the desire for depth. You stop chasing every possibility and start longing to build something real.
Maybe it begins with a long-term relationship. Maybe you find a place that finally feels like home. Or maybe you just outgrow the part of yourself that craved constant motion and begin to imagine a life that feels whole, not just interesting.
That shift happened for me at the end of 2022.
I’d closed my second business the year before and was now deep into my portfolio career. I was project managing, consulting, coaching and writing. Each in different industries. For separate people. With no shared thread.
I was doing a lot. But I wasn’t going anywhere.
What I craved was an internal compass. A direction I could trust across the next 10 years that would stay with me even as my tactics evolved and my titles changed.
What is the Age of Commitments?
The Age of Commitments is when life starts asking more of you.
Maybe you’re family planning. Maybe you’re buying a house. Maybe you’re caring for aging parents or finally feel ready to build something that lasts.
In this season, the responsibilities start stacking up. Each one asks you to trade a little freedom for a deeper kind of meaning.
Whether that becomes a heavy burden or a meaningful weight depends on the decisions you make now. And if they’re aligned with who you truly are today and who you’re becoming tomorrow.
Common Signs You’re In It
You think in decades, not just years. You want to build something that can last the test of time.
You’re more likely to say ‘No’ than you are ‘Yes’. You know the trade-offs of your decisions. So you find yourself protecting your time and energy.
You’d rather invest in putting down roots than in travelling the world. You ending up reframing stability as a freedom, not a burden.
You’re willing to bet the house on your convictions. You start seeing savings not as a tool for one day, but for a resource for right now.
You crave coherence. Preferring one clear connected path over five unrelated endeavours.
Some days it will feel like you’re making decisions that’ll last forever. While knowing full well the opportunity cost of spending your increasingly precious time elsewhere.
What This Season Is Really For
This season is all about designing from alignment.
Because your capacity for chase everything has limits now. Your attention is sacred in a way it wasn’t before.
You must find your peace with the trade-offs. By choosing your constraints and then beautifully building within them.
You’re not giving up on freedom.
You’re just starting to define what it’s for.
And that’s powerful.
The Trap: Committing from Conformity
For us, the undefinables, commitment can feel like a death sentence for our creativity. We resist giving up options in case we evolve again.
But, it doesn’t have to be like that.
If you reflect deeply on what you learned in the Age of Discovery, you’ll uncover the self beneath the labels. You’ll remember the interests that have stuck with you all these years. The people you can’t stop helping. The work you always return to no matter how much (or little) it pays.
Double downing on your unique purpose (or ‘Golden Thread’) is your antidote to conformism. When designed well, it gives you a direction to walk in, even as your milestones evolve.
Real commitments are actively chosen.
They provide liberation, not limitation. Enabling you to let go of what doesn’t matter so you can focus on what truly does.
The Questions to Ask Yourself
If you find yourself in the Age of Commitments, try reflecting on these:
What does “freedom” mean to me right now? What am I willing to give up? And what do I need to be true even as life starts asking more of me?
What am I willing to build even when it’s boring? And am I willing to back myself with savings, time and opportunity cost to bring it to life?
Which responsibilities am I choosing? And which ones am I inheriting from friends, family or my partner?
Am I surrounded by people who see me for who I am? If not, what steps can I implement to find those friends?
My Invitation to You
If you’re here, don’t default to the easy path.
Make intentional commitments from alignment, not fear. Don’t run from who you’re becoming. But, don’t say yes just to please others either.
Find your sweet spot in between.
Where your commitments feel like a meaningful weight that you’re ready and willing to carry.
If you need some help, I’ve just launched my “Designing a Life That Doesn’t Fit in a Box” workshop 19:00 - 21:00 in East London on Thu 31st July for those who want to intentionally transition into the Age of Commitments.
*Session Ticket: £30. Only 5 places remaining. Join here.
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