This piece is from my upcoming book, now in it’s 3rd draft. It’s part 3 of 5 in the new undefinable life design model (more on this soon). Explore #1 Many Interests, #2 Semi-Professional, #4 Signature Expression & #5 Value Streams
This stage of the undefinable life design model is where your unique categories stop feeling so far apart and begin to overlap together.
Now, it’s time to connect the dots.
Because even with your categories chosen, it’s easy to feel like you’re still spinning multiple plates. You know what you care about. You know where you want to invest. But how do you unify it all into a direction worth following?
That’s where your Golden Thread come in.
Your Golden Thread
Your Golden Thread is the through-line that connects who you are with who you help and how you help them. It’s not a single job title, career path or life role. It’s a living purpose that is flexible enough to evolve, clear enough to guide decisions and strong enough to hold the weight of your many interests.
Once you’ve found it you’ll have more than just clarity. You’ll have an internal compass for deciding what’s a Hell Yes and what’s a No Thanks.
You’ll stop explaining yourself in fragments and start telling a story that pulls all your parts together.
And most importantly you’ll have the foundation for your Signature Expression that will follow in the next stage of the model. The Golden Thread is the blueprint. The Signature Expression is what happens when you make it visible, tangible and unmistakably yours.
Using the Formula
For the undefinable, this purpose doesn’t arrive pre-packaged.
There’s no off-the-shelf “calling” waiting for you. Instead, you create your own by abstracting patterns from your interests, experiences, and the transformations you care about most.
We’ll use this simple Golden Thread formula to help you articulate it, so that you can design a life that pulls all of your seemingly separate parts together.
I help [Who] to [How] through [What].
(Use your own words. Don’t overthink it. This is a first version.)
In this framework Who is the specific group of people who you feel most called to help, How is how you help guide them to an outcome and What is what you provide to get them there – often drawn from your Semi-Professional categories.
Here’s my own version: I help those who live beyond conventional labels to design their life for uniqueness through intimate spaces, life design frameworks and intentional transitions
Who You Help
Start by identifying the individuals you feel most called to serve.
Ignore demographic data. It’s not about age, gender or job titles. It’s about shared behaviours, beliefs, frustrations and desires. You’re looking for a type of inner state or shared struggle you instinctively want to support people through.
Think about:
The people you’ve helped out of instinct.
Those whose discomfort made you want to lean in.
People lost in the same questions you once wrestled with.
These moments are mirrors. You often feel called to help people because they either reflect an earlier version of yourself or they’re walking through challenges you still understand the pain of deeply.
Questions to explore:
Who do I find myself giving advice to even when no-one asked?
Whose problems do I feel most energised to help solve?
Who do I naturally attract or hold space for?
You may not have a label for them yet. That’s okay. Start with a feeling. Then test it. Write it down. Say it out loud. Tweak it until the words land. You’ll know when it clicks.
How You Help
Once you know who to help, clarify how you help them.
What most people want is change. Relief from something heavy or a path toward something meaningful. They want to move from chaos to clarity, from scattered to focused, from disconnected to alive.
Your role is to guide that movement.
Sometimes you do it through tools, frameworks and strategy. Sometimes by holding space, sharing your story, or reframing someone’s perspective. Often, you’re using a mix of methods, but underneath there’s always a core shift you facilitate.
Questions to explore:
What shift are people making when I help them?
What are they longing for but can’t yet articulate?
What transformation will change their life?
You’re likely already helping people. It’s just on a small scale. Now’s your chance to make it conscious, so you use it to guide the transformation you deliver for others.
How You Help
Finally, identify what you provide that enables the transformation.
This is the start of your creative signature. It’s how you translate your Semi-Professional categories into something useful. It’s the spaces you create, the methods you apply and the principles you live by.
Questions to explore:
Which factors most contribute to the change I create?
How can my Semi-Professional categories combine in unexpected ways?
What tangible experiences, products, or services do I naturally offer?
These ways of helping are uniquely yours. Framed in such a way that they offer scope for you to expand and evolve while staying true to the bigger category of what you provide.
Remember: you will tweak this over time. Through my coaching, I’ve seen first-hand that the words change as you grow. You won’t get it perfect the first time. Nor the second time. Or probably also the third. And that’s okay. The goal is alignment, not precision.
Ready for what’s Next?
When your work is rooted in your Golden Thread, you can’t be commoditised. You’re playing in a category of one. Others may share a similar purpose, but no one else will help the same people in the same way you do.
What comes next is your Signature Expression. This is where you take the clarity you’ve built and weave it into something tangible that people can see, feel and interact with. It’s a clear expression of your voice, values and vision for the future.
Or if you’re in London come along to the next public workshop on Designing a Life That Doesn't Fit in a Box. Hosted monthly. Rated 9.3/10 so far.
This is amazing. I will buy the book when it is out.
Thank you, this was a helpful exercise. Would love your thoughts on my working draft:
I help recovering overachievers and soul-led creatives trade urgency for intention and build rhythm-based, curiosity-driven lives by working with their natural energy cycles (not against them)